I’m one day into the Entrepreneur House, a month-long immersion with 20 entrepreneurs here in Chiang Mai – living and working together on our businesses. These are people who are truly here to crush it – and I have every intention of doing the same.

Now, let me be clear on something. Multipotentiality doesn’t even begin to describe the way I show up in the world. There are days I literally am overwhelmed by the sheer amount of different things I aspire to do in my life. (Do you feel me?!) Yoga retreats, a health food company, eCommerce, coaching, start a travel company, travel writing, TED talks, team building…. this is just a short list off the top of my head.

Expectations are high. There are serious parts of me that can’t believe I haven’t achieved all of these things and more already. This voice is loud, it’s mean, and it’s definitely not helping to move me forward on my path to success.

So I motorbike over to lunch with my friend Steph, where we’re about to dive into some brainstorming about our collaborative project. But as soon as our conversation begins…. the truth just pours out.

Today – right now – I am not excited about…. anything.

After pushing myself to prepare for Entrepreneur House, to figure all my shit out, to set up all the structures for my eCommerce business and create many new epic sources of income through that, and coaching, and yoga, and books, and courses, so I can quit freelancing… I’ve been constantly thinking about productivity, and how to make something out of everything in my life.

I haven’t been living my life. 

Because I’ve been so preoccupied with making it mean something and earn money and make me successful. 

There at that lunch table, I’m exhausted.

There’s nothing left. With a sigh and my head in my hands… I tell Steph that I’m not sure if I’m excited about anything anymore. What’s wrong with me? I am the opposite of an apathetic person! Passion, buzz, and light for days!

But something’s been going very wrong.

Deep down, I’m wanting to just. Stop. Everything.

I need quiet. Space. For all the freaking noise and expectations to just STOP already!

I have been the worst damn boss that I’ve ever had.

You know how most jobs give you a meager 2 days off per week? Yeah, I’ve forced myself to be preoccupied with business and work pretty much all the time. Every thought, contemplating how to “make something” of my skills and knowledge, how to create something “better”, how to “succeed”.

Wow. HOW EXHAUSTING.

You see, I’m not creating Mindset Rebel because I magically have all the answers for how to shift your thinking to transform your life.

I’m creating it because I AM IN THE MUD RIGHT NOW. I’m creating this post as part of a 30-day blog challenge (1 every day for a month!) …and I have no idea who will even read this.

Hopefully, no one. 🙂 (I kid…)

The point is – my mind has been my greatest asset, and my greatest enemy.

It can take me to the highest, most glorious, creative places – and to the darkest depths of self-loathing.

It can yell at me until I have no energy left but to curl up in bed.

Enough. Enough already.

Enough of the bad boss.

So how do you quit?

Step away from the voice in your head.

There is nothing you need to do, in order to be accepted or whole in this world.

I know it. You know it.

It’s time we start living it.

It’s time to get to the root of that voice. WHO is it that’s push-push-pushing you with these impossible expectations and standards?

Where is that voice coming from? Because it isn’t the true you…

When what you really need is to delve into self care…. curl up with a book and a tea, practice yoga, chat with a close friend… honor that.

These are the practices that will bring you back to full strength.

You need to become free. I know, because I need to become free.

It’s a daily practice… one step in front of the other. And slowly… we are becoming free together.